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Wed, 16th Sep 2009 | BigCol | Created on: visionarydictionary.com | 1,291 Views, 12 Nods.

MASTERSIGNWRITER - CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES (2010)

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8258910.stm Today Torbay artist MasterSignwriter has been found not guilty of planning a terrorist attack on France.

MasterSignwriter, or MS as he has come to be known was accused of planning to attack the North Coast of France by using a home built giant trebuchet and dead cows.

On the 14 August 2009 in a post on the increasingly popular social networking site Visionary Dictionary, MS supposedly mapped out what he was intending. "To begin with I propose we make one (a trebuchet) and stick it on the Dover cliffs and for starters we can start propelling any non-national criminal back to their home country and maybe just a few dead farm animals at France to raise spirits."

He was arrested, on 30 September, under the terrorism act and an ancient law that forbids anyone to be nasty to the French even though they smell of onions and the women refuse to shave under their armpits.

A jury at Exeter Crown Court took 45 minutes to clear him of conspiracy to be nasty to non-national criminals and cruelty to animals. His barrister said "How can you be cruel to animals when they're bleedin' dead?" He also said he hoped the prosecuting authorities would "make more allowances for the frivolity of youth in future".

Jurors even laughed in court as MS's wife, Red, told the court her husband was full of "hare-brained" schemes, and that if he was guilty of anything at all it was just having an 'over-active imagination'.

MS always maintained the plot was a "fantasy", and his barrister dismissed the prosecution as "heavy-handed" and a waste of public money.

Speaking after his acquittal, MasterSignwriter read a statement in which he said he hoped the case had not affected his chances of becoming a priest.

                


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Mon, 21st Apr 2014
Lol :)
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Sun, 20th Sep 2009
Just arrived at this post at 12 27pm (after compiling the Queens Christmas Day Speech)and found it ever so funny and worthy af a "V" Point!
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Thu, 17th Sep 2009
@ MS - Just read your latest post. Now THAT may affect your chances of becoming a priest.
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
@ Ed & BB - It was actually supposed to be a German accent. It's spoken by Robert Duvall in the film The Eagle Has Landed. But we digress from the celebration of MasterSignwriter's aquital. @MS - I'm truly flattered.
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
I believe he was - some movie line
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
I have to agree that this is the best post I have read in ages - A gift you certainly have BigCol - one I hope you will continue to share with us with increasing regularity. I am still thinking about the statement you made at the Golf Club the other day - it went something like - "At a party, rarely does a wink from a beautiful lady culminate in an evening of climax, however a man would be foolish not to explore the possibilities to the enth degree" - I hope this rendition is close enough to the actual statement not to do it an injustice - A great line - thanks for sharing it with me.
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
i would like to take this opportunity to thank my offical spokesman BigCol for clearing this little matter up and hope that you can offer the same service when i get a holy fatwa put on me. I would also like to point out this is now officially my fave post to date. Col, you Rock. Big V.
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
Absolutely genius. This made me laugh out loud then start to cry it was so funny. Cheers BC. Wish I could award more than one V point!
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
You guys get funnier and funnier!
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
Is this how Edward Lear started? "V"
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Wed, 16th Sep 2009
Good one BC,a V point for this.
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