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Fri, 15th May 2009 | Red | 670 Views, 7 Nods, 21 Votes.

Just friends?

Can a totally platonic friendship exist between men and women?



100% yes  12    57 %
Sometimes  3    14 %
Depends how hot they are!  2    9 %
100% no  3    14 %
Whats platonic?  1    4 %

Voting Closed on: Mon 15th Jun, 2009
                


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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
@BC. Yes I gave him a nod as well.
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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
He does sum it up very well doesn't he Mama. Wasn't able to give him a 'v' point for the comment when this was first posted, so he gets a 'nod from me now.
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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
I think elsie has got it right. I suggest everyone looks into their circle of friends and ask themselves the question. Surely not everyone fancies everyone else, therefore friendships can be platonic.
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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
From a school sense, it can, but not between every male and female. There will be that one person who is more than just friends but in the end, you always value the friendship more. I've been in a situation where someone's liked me and I've never seen them to be more than friends, it's hard trying to carry on as normal but you have to. Being 'just friends' is sometimes the best thing. x
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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
Prabably the best first post in the history of VD/Noddleit.
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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
I agree NotGandalph. A great read that I never commented on. Reluctant to now as I am unsure, I think probably not!
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Sat, 27th Mar 2010
I know this is old but this is a great example of the perfect post.
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Fri, 05th Jun 2009
Ok now understand platonic more, couldn't get my head around it!
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Thu, 04th Jun 2009
I still don't understand what platonic means?
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Thu, 04th Jun 2009
sorry Jemma
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Thu, 04th Jun 2009
too true gemma
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Wed, 03rd Jun 2009
I think you can, I have friends that are strictly platonic and always will be. I think it's healthy, however, you both have to feel the same way...if one would like more then it's a different story.
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Wed, 03rd Jun 2009
why not. If you don't agree, then maybe you should question your relationship. It depends how much you trust your partner.. Some people suffer with jealousy and that can cause problems with platonic friendships, I have male friends but thats all they are.
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Sat, 16th May 2009
@ MamaP: I didn't say he did! I said he WOULD have lol. There are marks, but that's because he's half jewish (he was a good friend of his Dad's). Couldn't help that one, I'm engaged to a comedian!
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Sat, 16th May 2009
That occurred to me too Ed. I was online when this was first posted and it generated over 20 comments in the first hour. It also had me staring into space trying to work out where I stood with it and I'm still not sure. Whether Red meant to stir it up to this extent who knows, but she can be proud of this for a first post.
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Sat, 16th May 2009
In the history of VD, I don't think I have read a Post that has instantly generated this much attention / interest / comments - A great post, I look forward to reading more from you 'Red'
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Sat, 16th May 2009
Comment @ TGV : If it IS a two-way street, then invariably something happens, whether one or both are in other relationships. I think it all depends on what or who you truly want to be with for the rest of your life. For those who have found their soul-mates, then it's an easy decision but if you have even the slightest of doubt, then trouble is just around the corner. It begs the question....is the grass greener?
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Sat, 16th May 2009
I think it depends how mature and realistic people are. For example, if I fancied a woman and knew she didn't reciprocate those feelings, I would accept it and assuming I valued her friendship, would keep it going. When I was younger, I found this hard to do. Obviously, it's easier for the person who 'rejects' the other because their heart/dream hasn't been hurt. So, basically, it's all down to maturity of mind.
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Sat, 16th May 2009
Ithink for men it depends on which brain kicks in first. I have platonic friends of the opposite sex but maybe thats because I'm older. Wouldn't want to mix Viagra with their Bran Flakes! Tend to agree with LadyV. Has TGV still got those marks from that hedgehog LadyV.xx
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Sat, 16th May 2009
If you'd said between Ruby & GOLD (40th & 50th) MS that would compound my very first comment on this subject and I'd agree with you. Maybe that's what you meant.
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Sat, 16th May 2009
In marriage, anniversaries are called things like paper,stone,rock scissors or similar, i think Platonic is somewhere between Ruby and Silver.
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Sat, 16th May 2009
I don't reckon your too far off there love. (Although you would have f**ked a hedgehog back then!)
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Sat, 16th May 2009
Maybe she secretly liked me! lol
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Sat, 16th May 2009
I have never experienced a 100% platonic male/female friendship. There have been plenty of times when I thought this was the case, only to be completely shocked when undying love is declared. It's ruined many of my friendships, not because of anything I've done, but the guy is always different after the love is not returned. TGV has said it cannot happen. But I one of his life-long friends is a girl, and he CLAIMS never to have had anything but platonic feelings towards her. Does this mean there are exceptions TGV? And if so, why?
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Sat, 16th May 2009
When you've finished with them.Just a few more gigs and we'll be able to afford a set each.
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Sat, 16th May 2009
I think elsie's serious comment just about sums it up for me too. When do you want your teeth back? That was very funny nibbles.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
On a more serious note,of course it's possible for male/female platonic relationships to exist.A little flirting is a healthy expression of the difference between the two psychies.It's a fun game but there are rules. However in the young, hormones get in the way and the rules become blurred. One of the great advantages of getting older is that one can have great male/female relationships without crossing the line.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Got what Bc? his teeth from the last time?!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
I've obvously still got it.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
WhooHoo,just gonna put my teeth in and I'll be over.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
It means tonight's not off.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
A man has an attachment that will answer that question so no its not posssibal to stay out of the sack.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
What am I supposed to read into "so far". Does this mean I can live in hope.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Are you sure you want to spoil our so far platonic friendship elsie?
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Does that mean tonights off then BC
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Fri, 15th May 2009
The fact that you ask that question probably means you already know the answer Red.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Rolling On Floor Laughing, at Big Col, Alcohol has alot to answere for, although i very rarely drink!
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Red
Fri, 15th May 2009
Do you find alcohol plays a part? What is ROFL?
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Fri, 15th May 2009
ROFL!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Can you imagine what it's like being me when I'm really friendly to a guy and he picks up the wrong signals?
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Fri, 15th May 2009
I get what you mean now,yes a really interesting one,have you ever been in the situation where you have been really friendly to a guy and they have picked up the wrong signals,I know i have...AAAAh!
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Red
Fri, 15th May 2009
nibbles, I was thinking that maybe men/women read signals differently...like...eye contact, laughter and genuine interest in conversation doesn't necessarily mean lets get it on! In mens defence, this is probably how we would act if we were interested!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
You're too kind GV. What you raise there is interesting in that the fact that you have respect for the relationship that the other is in keeps it platonic, does that count as a platonic friendship. ie a friends wife/husband. I am friends with many of my friends' wives/partners and wouldn't dream of anything else. Therefore it must be possible. I said all that after three large Vodkas. I'm going for the fourth now. Great question Red
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Mephisto and I have just been having our own little debate about the fact that in the past when he was younger he must have been with girls that were friends at the time, and he said 'No I have never ruined a Platonic relationship with anyone i have Sha*ged!They have always remained friends!I nearly spat my tea over my computer,lol!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Oh i see!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
It got me thinking too nibbles. I even roped in my lady to see what she thought and she seems to go along the same line that Red's going down. That there is definitely a difference between male and female thinking here.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
BigCol, you are the king of cool and I guarantee some of your lady friends would love to be more but are too respectful of you and Debs to say anything. Age is no barrier.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Great post though, got me thinking!!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
I know what you mean by speaking from experience but what do you mean by a male/female thing, I thought that was what I was answering about? Or am i just having a blonde moment?!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
At my time of life 100% yes. Up to about 10 years ago probably no. Anyone fancy proving me wrong??
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Fri, 15th May 2009
I'm not saying people always act on it, and it is seldom a two way street, but at some stage you will have thoughts about a friend that are not purely based on friendship. It may only ever be one thought and that's it, and, it only ever really happens when a friend is better looking or a nicer person than what you concieve yourself to be.
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Red
Fri, 15th May 2009
You guys sound like you are speaking from experience! Maybe this is a male/female thing?
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Here Here Mephisto i think that's what i meant but i can see where TGV is coming from.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
Great post! I will say yes it is possible! Very often it's the giving in to the physical urges that can take the edge off very special platonic relationships!
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Fri, 15th May 2009
100% NO! Especially if one or both has even an assemblance of good looks. EVENTUALLY one of the pair will start to attract feelings and then thats it. The friendship, even though it may well remain a friendship, will never be the same. Even if it's kept a secret it's still not like having same sex mates. Sorry. We are all animals at the end of the day. This may upset many in long term relationships and it is of course only my opinion.
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Fri, 15th May 2009
I'm assuming that you mean friends so i am going to answere in that way,if i have misunderstood the question let me know and i'll try again! Yes,I really do think it can,I have many men that i am friendly with through work etc and the relationships are purely platonic. Welcome aboard Red:-)
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