Mon, 05th Jul 2010 | Bluehound | Created on: originalshorts.com | 14,181 Views, 9 Nods.

Swinging for Beginners - a short story

It wasn't that Maddie and Scott were bored with each other; they were just an adventurous couple that wanted to try everything at least once.
Swinging just seemed like one of those things, like quad biking, wine tasting and that disastrous cooking course she had bought him for his birthday.
They saw an ad in a specialist magazine

"Experimental couple would like to meet similar for fun times and holidays."

They contacted The Hendricks who seemed to be a compatible couple, now here they were sharing a delightful cottage with all the mod cons, in a lovely Devon village.

Radmir was tall and pallid, greying at the temples in a distinguished way. Elsbeth was also tall and fair skinned, with long dark hair. They both seemed to have a passion for vintage clothing; Elsbeth wafted around looking wonderful in long gowns of crushed velvet and silks. Luckily as they spent most of the time undressed, Maddie and Scott did not need to feel awkward in their more ordinary attire.

Radimir and Elsbeth were great hosts and had shown them a marvellous time so far; however there were a few problems. For instance there seemed to be a bit of an age gap, the Hendricks had been slightly evasive about this issue over the phone.
They had sounded about the same age as Scott and Maddie, and now seeing them, no one could deny they looked great for their ages.
But hearing Elsbeth purr that she was"183 this year, but Rad darling will be 181, It was I who made him the man he is you see". was a bit of a shock to say the least.

There were no complaints about the sex, the sex was great, they had tried every combination you could think of, and probably a few you can't. Plus the weather and scenery were just fantastic, they had been on some wonderful walks together.
It was just a little awkward round the dinner table when Maddie and Scott were enjoying a nice bit of sirloin, while the Hendricks tucked into some ones rump.

"I think they are vampires" Scott had said on the second day.
"What ever gave you that impression?" Maddie replied as she fished out some stockings from her suitcase. She held up one white and one black, Scott pointed to the black one and continued.
"Well you know, the outfits, sleeping in coffins, drinking people's blood..But it seems a bit rude to ask outright, it's the sort of thing they should have told us on the phone really." He said frowning a little.
"Wrinkles dear" Maddie reminded him. "I don't think there is much we can do now, if we leave we will lose our half of the deposit and we are having fun aren't we?"
"Oh yes lots" Scott agreed "I just thought it was the sort of thing one would mention that's all."
"This is our first time, Scott; we don't really know what the protocol is yet." Maddie said with her usual tact.
"That's true "Scott agreed "Well we can't bring it up now I suppose, it would be impolite."

On the fourth night as he and Maddie enjoyed a nice home cooked shepherd's pie, the Hendricks were feasting on the shepherdess.
"Mmm," Scott ventured, "this pie is delicious, how is your ummmvictim?"
Maddie kicked him under the table to let him know she thought he was being very rude.
"Fabulous darling would you like to try some? "Elsbeth inquired.
"Oh no, thanks I am more of a meat and two veg fan really." He trailed off limply.
She indulged in a wicked laugh, in the traditional sense of the word - not in the way that youngsters used it willy-nilly these days, which was both spine chilling and exciting at the same time.

"Unbelievable!" Scott fumed as they headed back to their own room that night. "That was a perfect opportunity for them to admit to being creatures of the night and still they didn't say anything!"
"Scott honey, they are not creatures of the night, we went for a walk round the village with them this morning." Maddie said reasonably.
"They wore sunglasses and Elsbeth had an unnecessarily large hat for the occasion in my opinion." Scott flustered.
"Shhh they might hear you, besides we haven't told them everything about us have we?" Maddie said "I am sure when they feel the time is right, they will tell us that they are vampires, if they want to. Now we aught to get some rest, we are trying out kite surfing tomorrow followed by a little rubber fetishism. Did you remember to pack that mask we got from the internet?"

The next night Maddie was cleaning up yet another puddle of blood from beneath the dining table,
"I am not sure that living forever is all it's cracked up to be, if you spend half your life cleaning after dinner." She said to Scott.
"Well they do save on washing up." He observed as he cleared their own plates away. He knew he should be feeling a little self conscious in nothing but a pinny, but found he quite liked it and was planning to do it again when they got home.

The rest of the holiday went on in a similar fashion. It was an idyllic setting and if you didn't mind the odd scream in the night, a truly perfect week away, full of adventurous sex and good outdoorsy fun.
The Hendricks never did admit to being vampires and Scott, so as not to annoy Maddie didn't bring it up again. The two couples thanked each other for a great time and exchanged e-mail addresses.
Then Scott and Maddie went home and began to settle back into their normal life.

Two weeks later they were sitting in their white fluffy dressing gowns, enjoying a lazy Sunday morning breakfast of toast and tea. Scott opened the paper and made a peculiar strangled noise of astonishment.
He turned the paper, eyes bulging, to show Maddie the headline.

"Devon Village Rocked By Fake Perv Vampires"

Printed beneath was a picture of Radimir and Elsbeth, real names Frank and Doreen (both 42); being led out of the holiday cottage they had all shared.
Maddie scanned the page with disbelief as she read snatches of print,

"bodies piled in the wood shed"
"swinger's love nest"
"Police alerted by as many as 9 people going missing from the village"
"newspaper advertisement used to lure victims"
"now seeking second couple, who may be accomplices"

Maddie looked up from the page, the outrage clear on her face

"Well how rude!" she said." They lied about their names and their ages!"


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Sun, 25th Aug 2013
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Nod+ (0)
Wed, 03rd Oct 2012
Not sure how I missed this when it was first posted, it's absolutely brilliant.
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Sun, 27th Mar 2011
Im glad you decided to share your imagination BlueHound, fantastic story telling.
Nod+ (0)
Wed, 07th Jul 2010
Ha, well I am sure Maddie and Scott would aprove of you giving it a go, but I think they may be sticking to the wine tasting in the future ! Thanks for the kind words, I am really enjoying writing at the moment and it's very encouraging to know you guys like it.
Nod+ (0)
Tue, 06th Jul 2010
Good story before bedtime. Don't know whether to try it or not.:) nod nod wink wink
Nod+ (0)
Tue, 06th Jul 2010
Love it, great story. Got a great site coming your way.
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Mon, 05th Jul 2010
I too look forward to your posts Bluehound. This is a great read and one that has made me aware of the strange comings and goings of the house across the road from me. I'm not sure that 2 O'clock in the morning is quite the time to be digging in the garden.
Nod+ (1)
Mon, 05th Jul 2010
Not sure what the aim of this post was.It was brilliantly written,it must have taken a long time to write this,one of the longest I've read on this site.A great story with a gag at the end so was it a shaggy dog story with a joke punchline or something more.And I'm thinking that was the idea of it,very clever Bluehound,I make MasterSignwriter right.
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Mon, 05th Jul 2010
Youve become a member of this site whose posts i genuinely look forward to reading. I absolutely love this.Funny, Strange and Original. Keep it up BlueHound.
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