There's a recession on. I've resorted to things I never thought I'd do. I've blagged my way through 2 contracts. The first coding VBA - Excel macros - the other writing a bespoke Advanced Excel 2007 training course and delivering it to a customer. Neither are my bread and butter, but my plate was empty.
I've often been told I'd make a good teacher so maybe a change in direction is called for; after all I'm at that age. So tonight I went along to an open evening to look at doing PTLLS - Preparing to Teach in the Lifelong Learning Sector. Pronounced "Petals", or so I'm told. The open evening was more 'mind-your-own-business' rather than Chelsea Flower Show.
I registered my interest for the course online a few weeks ago. Then I got an email inviting me to the open evening. Tonight they got me to fill in a form - name and address, that sort of thing. You know - the details they got online a few weeks back.
They asked if I have a level 3 specialism. Yes, choose from: FCMA (govt. assessed to be equivalent to a masters at ACMA level), BSc Honours IT & Computing (nearly there, 30 points out of 360 left to do) or PRINCE2 (Projects In Controlled Environments).
Then they tell me I have to do a numeracy test and a literacy test before I can enrol. My mouth said, 'no problem' but my face said, 'you've got to be 'avin a larf!'. Or at least that's the polite version. I asked if I could do the online test now, but no, the department had already closed for the day, I'd have to come back. Once I've passed the tests I can enrol. I think they need my PRINCE2 skills.
It seems that years of accountancy, computing, report writing and project work count for nothing. I have to prove that I'm at level 2 numeracy and literacy. I'm scared they are going to sit me in the little chair in the corner and ask me to read Janet and John, or recite my times tables. Puh-lease!
I was told I'd have to find teaching work and need to do 1.5 hours per week next year. I showed them my Excel training material along with course evaluation forms. It seems I'm a bit ahead of the game.
I can't help but wonder exactly what they are going to teach me and if I'm maybe just a little too old, too organised or too jaded to do the PTLLS course. Something just wasn't adding up and it wasn't my maths. Maybe I've already done a little too much Lifelong Learning of my own, but to pass it on I have to do some more.